I don't like "camping out," never have, never will, it's a dirty, bug infested smelly deal, where people leave a perfectly safe, warm bed under a roof and four walls. I've never understood the attraction, other then it must be the "right of passage" or something for a boy to turn into a man. But then women get involved, so it must be some sort of "passage" for them to. Could it be the "man or a mouse" thing, or a "women or a wouse." Like I said, "I don't get it."
Maybe these outdoor people are getting ready for the end times, you know, December 21st. 2012, there's even a movie about the possible end-times. I thought that the Mayan calender predicted the end of time, but now most say that the crafty Mayan weren't predicting the "end of the world," rather the end of one time and the start of another, go figure.
I now learn that some folks think the beginning of the end starts this coming Saturday, May 21st. 2011. I looked in up on my trusty computer and low and behold there was alot of information, like 23 million links. What the hell, ops, "what the heck" is going on, I was kind of prepared for the December 2012 thing, I figured that I'd lived, by that time, 68 years, a decent number of years, and as the 21st. of December got closer, I'd get all my stuff in order and be ready.
But May 21st. 2011, "this year," absolutely no way, no how I could ever be ready to go, my "stuff" is still all over the place, I haven't told all the people "I'm sorry" that I need to, even though I'm really not sorry, but I figured I'd cover all my bases. And repent to the Lord, no way, not even a quarter of the way there, I have lots of repenting to do, at least a year, so May 21st. is out, completely out, I simply need more time, I'll need a rain check or whatever I can get, I know, a rain-out, ya, that will get it, a rain-check can't be rejected, it's a state law, you can look it up.
Harold Egbert Camping is the author of not only the May 21st. 2011 beginning of the end rapture and the eventual end of the earth some 5 months later, but also predicted the end of the world 2 other times, 1988 and again in 1994. What is this guy going for, "strike three and your out." Some in Camping's former church, the Alameda Bible Fellowship have criticized him of "date-setting," a term I could subscribe to, "if everything is fine on May 22nd. 2011.
Harold Egbert Camping is an interesting guy, 89 years old, is the head a religious based California radio FM-AM network of stations that include 150 in the United States, is broadcast world-wide via shortwave stations, and also includes a cable television station and the Internet.
Camping's 2011 end of times predictions, "if you believe them" says that between 1988 and May 21st. 2011 "those who were unsaved and died" will not be affected by the May 21st. date, Boy am I glad to hear that, there were a couple of real dinks I knew during that time who died and I sure wouldn't want them coming back.
Camping further prophecy states that on May 21st. 2011, 3% of the world's population, about 200 million people will be raptured into heaven, not ruptured, but raptured, "this is an important distinction," and the rest will simply cease to be conscious, rather then spend eternity in hell. What does that mean, those jerks that screwed me won't get their just deserts, they'll just.....stop, like a wrist watch, you can see it, but it won't work? I'm getting to like this Camping Fellow less and less.
Old Egbert wrote a book back in 1994 titled.....1994 and sold several million copies. I've been going about this writing thing all wrong, I've tried to write history books, but relied on the truth and fact, Camping seems to have went completely the other day, translating the Bible to fit his story-line and made millions of dollars in the process.
As one devoted follower said, "you can understand it intellectually, but to really know it is going to happen, you have to understand it spiritually, you have to feel it." According to Camping, the first to know will be New Zealand, at 6:00 A.M. their time and 11:00 P.M. Friday in the Bay area of San Francisco. A great earthquake will shake the island nation, triggering an apocalypse that will roll relentlessly towards the United States.
The rolling destruction will reach San Francisco around 6:00 P.M. PDT. The saved souls will ascend to heaven, including those dead and buried, all other will remain in the fiery chaos that will overtake the earth.
There is no central meeting place for those who figure to be saved, Camping has instructed them to stay in their homes, hunkered down with their loved ones, listening to his radio messages throughout the day, which leaves me wondering if there will be any interruptions for commercial breaks, weather or news reports.
Living here in northeastern Wisconsin, I wonder, if I wake up Sunday morning, does that mean that I'm going to hell, heck? You know, if this Camping guy is right, we all could be in for a "heck" of a week-end and if he's wrong, well, then we'll all be in for a hell of a party.
We here at Chronicle headquarters will remain vigil throughout the next 60 hours or so and if things stop sometime Saturday, well.....
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