So.....you thought you had it tough this week, well let me lay some of the world's worst actors and the most frivolous of people on you, that forever give people like me "meat" so I can continue offering up some of the stories that are "all the news that nobody else will print."
Our journey this week will take us into some of the most exotic sites in not only America, but to portions of the world that we seldom visit. This week's globe trotting sponsor is, well.....me, my eight little fingers and two thumbs. Let's get started right now.
GIRLS GONE (MILD), (Oakland County Press, Pontiac, Michigan)
GIRLS GONE (MILD), (Oakland County Press, Pontiac, Michigan)
A Saginaw, Michigan tavern owner is pissed off as hell today, following a Friday night visit by a Girls Gone Wild promotion that went, well, how can I put this delicately....."under appreciated." Seems as if the tour bus that brought the entourage of supposedly scantily clad women arrived with the busty gals in full street cloths and were not ready to expose the ample amount of skin that they have become famous for.
Things got so bad that the Saginaw cop shop was notified and several squad cars were dispatched to quell a possible drunken response by the 100 or so customers that showed up for the show. A 51 year old Portland man (not Portland, Oregon), in fact lost his cool and pulled both rear-view mirrors of the bus.
Come to find out, all of the women were imports, had nothing to do with the actual Women Gone Wild organization, and therefore could not be held responsible for a below standard performance. As one cop put it, "give the babes a break, obviously for some, it was their first time into the professional world of dance and exhibition."
ANOTHER JONES BITES THE DUST, (Frazer chronicle)
Florida pastor Terry Jones, yes, the same pastor Jones who burned a Quran in his home state, causing bloody protests throughout the Islamic world, and associates were jailed Friday in a Wayne County, Michigan jail for failure to post a $1 peace bond. Of course at the center of the case is whether Jones and his followers (he actually has some) would breach the peace, considering all the circumstances involving the reverend.
The disrespect that Jones obviously has for religion, even his own, is testament that "Terry boy" is a flipped out whack job that is craving publicity during dangerous times in the world. Jones and a named associate, Wayne "what a" Sapp were denied a protest permit on Wednesday at the city offices in Dearborn, Michigan. The city also prohibited permits to four other (counter-protest) religious groups that were planning to protest Jones and his people.
Am I wrong, didn't a Jim Jones, of the People's Temple sell kool-aid to somebody in Guyana, no wait, he didn't sell kool-aid, he laced the drink with poison, gave it to his gullible followers, killing more then 900. I hold little remorse for people that exhibit that much weak minded gullibility, but I do grieve for the children.
I wonder if this handle bared mustached Jones is related to the Guyana Jones? The ramifications of what this joker wants to do should be detested by every free American. Police from dozens of area towns were assembled in case violence broke out between this "sicky" and those opposed to his crap.
PROFILING, DO YOU INCLUDE GROCERY CASHIERS, (Frazer Chronicles)
I for one can answer the question with a resounding YES. Unlike those of you who might use a different set of standards to judge a cashier, like quality of service, a pleasant attitude, how quickly you get through a line, or the polite way coupons are excepted, my guidelines are easy to follow and directly to the point, having nothing to do with the expertise of her job.
Although I am 67 years old, am completely harmless and have been married to a wonderful women for 45, I assess my cashiers in a completely sexual manner. I have a rating system that has been established over many years of experience with this most important part of my shopping trips. You see, I love to grocery shop, have for years and many years ago, I developed my system of choosing just the right women that I will use as "my check-out girl."
First of all, they have to be attractive, (to me) they have to be friendly, not to overweight, "although I don't mind heavy" want to flirt, will show a fair amount of cleavage, uniform permitting. What kind of service I get, if the girl is the right one, "I hope is poor." If there aren't any people in line, after our transaction, she will "linger" and talk.
Tall, short, it doesn't matter, I am a shopper for all shapes, sizes and personalities, it doesn't matter to me, as long as they meet my basic criteria. I usually go to one supper market, I make friends with everybody so that I can access as many departments as I feel the need for. I treat everybody with respect and they do the same with me.
Most of the people at my super market know that shopping is "my job" and the service I get is always superb as is the conversation and the occasional view of cleavage, I can it a "fringe benefit" of shopping. When I am done with my activity, I call it "an event" I exit the story, leaving everyone in a better frame of mind then when I walked in.
TERRIBLE LINDSAY LOHAN, (Frazer Chronicle)
You loved her in Herbie:Fully Loaded, you marveled at her depth in the Parent Trap and you laughed at her in Freaky Friday. Now we see another side of this young vivacious starlet as she tackles the biggest role of her life, Lindsay Lohan. That's right, somewhere along the early train-ride that she has traveled in her life as seemingly de-railed.
Drinking, drugs, reports of kinky sex (which I'm all for) and her latest foray into the criminal world, jewel theft. Clearly she isn't a very good thief and her drinking and drug binges are public record as well as thousands of pictures. The kinky sex, I have no proof, but I'm sure it's in there somewhere, anyway I hope so.
Sadly if somebody does not step forward and volunteers to be her "handler" her life will be short and filled with much pain and suffering, remember all those young starlets that we have already lost, careers cut short by stupid decisions, addictions and indulgent life styles.
I for one hope that she makes a recovery from her current trouble, gets her career back on track and appears nude in her next movie. If that happens, all of her troubles and tribulations will be worth it, "at least for me."
KENYA RUNS OUT OF RUBBERS, (Frazer Chronicles-Aljazeera)
I read with interest an article that appeared in the English version of Aljazeera with regards to a shortage of condoms in Kenya the other day which peaked my interest. I always figured the worst thing that possibly could happen with a prophylactic, years ago when on a date, was A. I didn't bring one, B. it was the wrong color, C. it wasn't the right texture, or the big one, D. it failed to do it's prescribed job.
Now I find out that an entire country has a shortage of the balloon type safety devices and that they aren't used for the reason I thought that they were made for, "unwanted conception" but were used to fight HIV AIDS and other STD's, VD to you older readers.
Demand, particularly in the countryside, has been outstripping supplies by as much as 8 million wanna be involved, sex starved men. no wonder agriculture production has been suffering. Emergency shipments have arrived after the government made a world wide "profo" appeal.
Talking about sex, of any kind, apparently is something of a topic of taboo in the East African nation, making the epidemic of HIV, AID's and other STD's and the fight against the diseases all the harder to wage, and at least for one, "me" to understand, given the fact that sex isn't even talked about.
We here at Chronicle headquarters have pitched in and both Scoppy Scopowitz and your editor and chief have sent our own personal stock of the digital coverers.
Things got so bad that the Saginaw cop shop was notified and several squad cars were dispatched to quell a possible drunken response by the 100 or so customers that showed up for the show. A 51 year old Portland man (not Portland, Oregon), in fact lost his cool and pulled both rear-view mirrors of the bus.
Come to find out, all of the women were imports, had nothing to do with the actual Women Gone Wild organization, and therefore could not be held responsible for a below standard performance. As one cop put it, "give the babes a break, obviously for some, it was their first time into the professional world of dance and exhibition."
ANOTHER JONES BITES THE DUST, (Frazer chronicle)
Florida pastor Terry Jones, yes, the same pastor Jones who burned a Quran in his home state, causing bloody protests throughout the Islamic world, and associates were jailed Friday in a Wayne County, Michigan jail for failure to post a $1 peace bond. Of course at the center of the case is whether Jones and his followers (he actually has some) would breach the peace, considering all the circumstances involving the reverend.
The disrespect that Jones obviously has for religion, even his own, is testament that "Terry boy" is a flipped out whack job that is craving publicity during dangerous times in the world. Jones and a named associate, Wayne "what a" Sapp were denied a protest permit on Wednesday at the city offices in Dearborn, Michigan. The city also prohibited permits to four other (counter-protest) religious groups that were planning to protest Jones and his people.
Am I wrong, didn't a Jim Jones, of the People's Temple sell kool-aid to somebody in Guyana, no wait, he didn't sell kool-aid, he laced the drink with poison, gave it to his gullible followers, killing more then 900. I hold little remorse for people that exhibit that much weak minded gullibility, but I do grieve for the children.
I wonder if this handle bared mustached Jones is related to the Guyana Jones? The ramifications of what this joker wants to do should be detested by every free American. Police from dozens of area towns were assembled in case violence broke out between this "sicky" and those opposed to his crap.
PROFILING, DO YOU INCLUDE GROCERY CASHIERS, (Frazer Chronicles)
I for one can answer the question with a resounding YES. Unlike those of you who might use a different set of standards to judge a cashier, like quality of service, a pleasant attitude, how quickly you get through a line, or the polite way coupons are excepted, my guidelines are easy to follow and directly to the point, having nothing to do with the expertise of her job.
Although I am 67 years old, am completely harmless and have been married to a wonderful women for 45, I assess my cashiers in a completely sexual manner. I have a rating system that has been established over many years of experience with this most important part of my shopping trips. You see, I love to grocery shop, have for years and many years ago, I developed my system of choosing just the right women that I will use as "my check-out girl."
First of all, they have to be attractive, (to me) they have to be friendly, not to overweight, "although I don't mind heavy" want to flirt, will show a fair amount of cleavage, uniform permitting. What kind of service I get, if the girl is the right one, "I hope is poor." If there aren't any people in line, after our transaction, she will "linger" and talk.
Tall, short, it doesn't matter, I am a shopper for all shapes, sizes and personalities, it doesn't matter to me, as long as they meet my basic criteria. I usually go to one supper market, I make friends with everybody so that I can access as many departments as I feel the need for. I treat everybody with respect and they do the same with me.
Most of the people at my super market know that shopping is "my job" and the service I get is always superb as is the conversation and the occasional view of cleavage, I can it a "fringe benefit" of shopping. When I am done with my activity, I call it "an event" I exit the story, leaving everyone in a better frame of mind then when I walked in.
TERRIBLE LINDSAY LOHAN, (Frazer Chronicle)
You loved her in Herbie:Fully Loaded, you marveled at her depth in the Parent Trap and you laughed at her in Freaky Friday. Now we see another side of this young vivacious starlet as she tackles the biggest role of her life, Lindsay Lohan. That's right, somewhere along the early train-ride that she has traveled in her life as seemingly de-railed.
Drinking, drugs, reports of kinky sex (which I'm all for) and her latest foray into the criminal world, jewel theft. Clearly she isn't a very good thief and her drinking and drug binges are public record as well as thousands of pictures. The kinky sex, I have no proof, but I'm sure it's in there somewhere, anyway I hope so.
Sadly if somebody does not step forward and volunteers to be her "handler" her life will be short and filled with much pain and suffering, remember all those young starlets that we have already lost, careers cut short by stupid decisions, addictions and indulgent life styles.
I for one hope that she makes a recovery from her current trouble, gets her career back on track and appears nude in her next movie. If that happens, all of her troubles and tribulations will be worth it, "at least for me."
KENYA RUNS OUT OF RUBBERS, (Frazer Chronicles-Aljazeera)
I read with interest an article that appeared in the English version of Aljazeera with regards to a shortage of condoms in Kenya the other day which peaked my interest. I always figured the worst thing that possibly could happen with a prophylactic, years ago when on a date, was A. I didn't bring one, B. it was the wrong color, C. it wasn't the right texture, or the big one, D. it failed to do it's prescribed job.
Now I find out that an entire country has a shortage of the balloon type safety devices and that they aren't used for the reason I thought that they were made for, "unwanted conception" but were used to fight HIV AIDS and other STD's, VD to you older readers.
Demand, particularly in the countryside, has been outstripping supplies by as much as 8 million wanna be involved, sex starved men. no wonder agriculture production has been suffering. Emergency shipments have arrived after the government made a world wide "profo" appeal.
Talking about sex, of any kind, apparently is something of a topic of taboo in the East African nation, making the epidemic of HIV, AID's and other STD's and the fight against the diseases all the harder to wage, and at least for one, "me" to understand, given the fact that sex isn't even talked about.
We here at Chronicle headquarters have pitched in and both Scoppy Scopowitz and your editor and chief have sent our own personal stock of the digital coverers.
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